So, here’s what’s happening with Hammer Up! previously known as “Stop, Hammer Time!” on my FanFiction page.
In return to my submission of the text and this cover:
I received this email:
which left me quite confused. What is it that they are unhappy with, I asked myself. Is it the clipart drawing of an ancient statue, or my jolly pink floral pattern? (“Well, perhaps, it’s that suggestive, fanny shaped flower to the left,” my partner offered sardonically. Yes, I know. Now you can’t un-see it 😀 )
I have to say at this stage I was more confused than frustrated. There was still hope that there has been a misunderstanding. But then I thought about it, got annoyed by the alleged Amazon Kindle Scout’s prudeness (it is an example of classic art, you uneducated bigots! I internally screamed in anguish); and I wrote this:
hoping that my sarcasm was appropriately veiled.
I mean, seriously?! What’s next? Putting speedos of Michelangelo’s Rondanini Pietà?
And here is the response I received:
Scantily clad humans?! Suggestive of sex or violence?! Are we looking at the same picture?!
Here’s where my temper rose. If they are saying that my scantily clad Aphrodite, demurely covering her lady parts, and her only exposed boob being a line and a dot, could offend and/or traumatise someone on their site – and I assume they mean a minor – then I don’t know where this world is going to! I have a kid in grade one, and I would say the harlequin novel covers with limp damsels in ripped bodices, and men clearly physically overpowering them, are more harmful for my child’s perception of gender relations!
So, currently I’m working on designing a new cover. The following options are considered:
- an appropriately sized Florina pepper (native to Greece and delicious) with two oranges on the sides. I might go for a small pepper, and two olives, and then just zoom into the picture for the right proportions;
- an ancient Greek column, visually piercing a curly cloud;
- suggestively positioned smithery tools.
I’m open to your ideas as well, my darlings!
P.S. Do you think they wouldn’t fuss if it were a MALE god in that picture? Are they just afraid of female partial nudity, or Heph’s nipples would freak them out as well?