Scantily Clad Human on My Cover and Amazon Kindle Scout

So, here’s what’s happening with Hammer Up! previously known as “Stop, Hammer Time!” on my FanFiction page.

In return to my submission of the text and this cover:

I received this email:

which left me quite confused. What is it that they are unhappy with, I asked myself. Is it the clipart drawing of an ancient statue, or my jolly pink floral pattern? (“Well, perhaps, it’s that suggestive, fanny shaped flower to the left,” my partner offered sardonically. Yes, I know. Now you can’t un-see it 😀 )

I have to say at this stage I was more confused than frustrated. There was still hope that there has been a misunderstanding. But then I thought about it, got annoyed by the alleged Amazon Kindle Scout’s prudeness (it is an example of classic art, you uneducated bigots! I internally screamed in anguish); and I wrote this:

hoping that my sarcasm was appropriately veiled.

I mean, seriously?! What’s next? Putting speedos of Michelangelo’s Rondanini Pietà? 

And here is the response I received:

Scantily clad humans?! Suggestive of sex or violence?! Are we looking at the same picture?!

Here’s where my temper rose. If they are saying that my scantily clad Aphrodite, demurely covering her lady parts, and her only exposed boob being a line and a dot, could offend and/or traumatise someone on their site – and I assume they mean a minor – then I don’t know where this world is going to! I have a kid in grade one, and I would say the harlequin novel covers with limp damsels in ripped bodices, and men clearly physically overpowering them, are more harmful for my child’s perception of gender relations!

So, currently I’m working on designing a new cover. The following options are considered:

  • an appropriately sized Florina pepper (native to Greece and delicious) with two oranges on the sides. I might go for a small pepper, and two olives, and then just zoom into the picture for the right proportions;
  • an ancient Greek column, visually piercing a curly cloud;
  • suggestively positioned smithery tools.

I’m open to your ideas as well, my darlings!

kkolmakov out!

P.S. Do you think they wouldn’t fuss if it were a MALE god in that picture? Are they just afraid of female partial nudity, or Heph’s nipples would freak them out as well?

Coming Soon on Amazon Kindle Scout!

It’s happening, my darlings! It’s finally happening!

Hammer Up! formerly known as “Stop, Hammer Time!” on my fanfiction page has been uploaded to Amazon Kindle Scout.

It’s been rewritten into a more orthodox format (all the frisky humour and jolly smut has been left intact, worry not!); edited; and a ‘pretty’ cover has been designed.

Once the text is approved, we are up! I’ll give the link in all my possible media, and the game is afoot, my lovelies! We will have 30 days to herd enough people to vote for it, and make it happen. If it gets published, I get a tasty morsel of cash, the book becomes available on Kindle, and everyone who voted gets a free copy!

And now the reveal… the cover!

Isn’t Phro a doll? 😉

Stay tuned! And fingers crossed, it’ll be a smooth and triumphant journey!

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays to all of you! Happy new 2017! Let’s hope this one takes away less from us, especially less of those creative people who bring joy to our world! And may it give us what we’re hoping for!

Happy holidays from my original characters as well! 😀

Starting tomorrow, January 1st, 2017, I’ll be returning to my normal update schedule; news regarding writing and drawing will be announced; “Hammer Up!” will soon go up on Amazon; and Patreon will get… videos! I’m all fired up, and ready for a productive inspired year!

All the best wishes to all of you, my darlings! Thank you for being with me all through this complicated, challenging, sometimes tragic, sometimes still hopeful 2016 – and see you soon!

Gilmore Girls Revival and the Question of Motherhood

So, I started writing the Gilmore Girls fanfiction. About a minute after I finished watching the Revival. Right after my six year old son, who was sitting next to me said, “No, she isn’t pregnant.” (Don’t ask me what he meant 🙂 I’m not sure how extensive his knowledge on human reproduction is.) But while G. went back to his Octonauts, I sat down and started writing.

After I posted the first chapter, I’ve received a few wonderfully kind reviews. They were generous – and no less thought provocative. I have to say, that while I am a fast writer, I’m a slow opinion former. I like to give it time, to look at different sides, to ponder, and to sleep on it, preferable for longer than my average three hours a night.

There are a few things that have always bothered me in this show, and one of them is the prevailing idea of motherhood being an obstacle in the life of a woman. While not a false notion, and sadly rather well-spread, the portrayal of pregnancy as a disaster that ruins a woman’s life has seemed like a one-sided, disturbing idea for me. The character of Lane would be the best example of what I mean. I was glad to see her have a satisfying, fulfilled life in the Revival; but the initial representation of her character in the last seasons of the original series made me uncomfortable. She’s shown to break out of the constrictions of her home life, from under her mother’s control, finally doing what she always wanted – and she’s immediately placed into a new ‘cage.’ She describes the short time between these two events as a ‘small window.’ And then it’s taken away from her. Or at least it’s portrayed this way.

Lorelei’s pregnancy with Rory is also always discussed as a disaster, a calamity. The scene of the young her trying to get into a white dress for yet another function of her parents – perhaps, symbolising virginity/purity, and alluding to a wedding dress – reads as a loss of innocence, a disaster that has already befallen the character but is yet unknown to her.

And now we see Rory in the same position, and of course, the first reaction is ‘why?’ Why would the writers put her through the same?

Her circumstances are, of course, different. She isn’t as young and alone as Lorelei was. And she does have a supportive family, like Lane did, while not having a partner. (Don’t get me started on what Logan has become. He was my second favourite of men on the show, after Luke. And second favourite among Rory’s BFs, after Jess.)

And although I approve of symmetry of plot twists, and I in no way oppose or feel unsatisfied by what we are shown, I have one main point to make here.

The show lacks one large aspect in the discussion of motherhood – and it is the woman’s choice.

Being pregnant isn’t a mistake that Rory made. Getting pregnant, perhaps. We don’t see the discussion of what contraception methods she used. (Which I think would be very much useful in the first show. I watched it as a young adult, just starting my journey into the world of relationship. I learnt, or thought that I learnt, a lot from GG. There were things they could have informed me of, to be honest 🙂 )

Lorelei had made her choice then. To keep Rory, to bring her up, to bring her up alone. And yet, there is certain hush-hush tone to this discussion on the show. Their relationship worked out. It’s what the show is about. But did we see that big moment in Lorelei’s life when she took control over her life? No, we didn’t. I wish we had.

Rory is facing the same choice at the moment.

I feel it should be explicitly shown in media these days that a woman has the right to choose.

I like the idea of two men in Rory’s life, just as Lorelei had. Jess as a reflection of Luke. And Logan as a reflection of Christopher. And perhaps, Logan’s sudden sliminess is supposed to show that he is indeed as weak as Rory’s father.

But it isn’t about choosing between the men, as it seemingly always was written for Lorelei. (Thank goodness, at least there was the opening of her own inn that was there to counterbalance all that talk about having or not having a man in her life.)

It is now about Rory choosing to keep the baby, or not. It’s about her deciding whether in this strange limbo in which she found herself, she can and/or is willing. It’s not about her learning on her mother’s experience. It is her life. It is her body. It is her choice.

It doesn’t matter whose baby it is, and whether there was indeed that sincere longing in Jess’s eyes when he looked at her through the window. It is about Rory deciding. To finish, or not to finish her book. Where to work. Where to live. To have, or not to have another Rory. (It can be a boy’s name 🙂 )

Motherhood has to be a choice, available to make, and not judged whether it is made, or not. I just wish it were shown this way in media more. Many of us grew up with Rory. And now as adults, we should be able to see her fight for that right.

Two New Projects

Hello!

I decided it was a good idea to write on my blog more often, just to keep you posted regarding what’s going on, and more so, to get some feedback from you, my duckies!

So, there are two ideas that I’m nursing these days (besides the usual lot of FF, AO3, and JukePop writing; Stop, Hammer Time! editing for Amazon Kindle; the Etsy shop; and (for some inconceivable reason) my sudden interest in the birds of Manitoba.)

Idea #1: Taro Cards

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Some time ago I wandered in our local occult/New Age shop. It’s not exactly my cup of tea, but I do have broad interests 😉 I chatted with the owner about my art and such, and that I was considering drawing a deck of Taro cards. It was just a vague thought at the time, but it sprouted when she bestowed me with the deck that had previously belonged to our main Taro reader in the city. The reader had given it up for ‘adoption,’ and the lovely lady in Radiance Gifts shop thought I was the perfect candidate 🙂

So, now, armed with couple books and keen interest, I decided to venture into drawing a deck. I’ll keep you posted. I’ll be posting designs on my Instagram (check it out for birds of Manitoba as well, if it tickles your pickle 😉 ) and I’m considering later selling the deck on my Etsy.

Idea #2: A modern fantasy story based on Russian folklore

This one has been brewing in my brain for quite a while. There are all those fascinating characters from my childhood – Koshey Bessmertny (Deathless), and Baba Yaga, and Vassilisa the Wise – and I always wanted to write them, and the dark and thrilling and mesmerising stories I listened to as a kid; but I also wanted to give them a twist.

It is something that is done a lot these days (see Percy Jackson, and hundreds of other stories of the same sort); and I even heard that there is a fantasy novel about a girl in the States (maybe, Canada) fighting Slavic monsters. I will of course have to do my research. I’d hate to be unoriginal!

Also, I’m not sure about the format of it. Should it be a novel? Should it be a webserial – on JukePop, or this blog? Or should I sell it by a chapter on Etsy as I’m planning to do with the whodunit?

Altogether, the things I do know for now:

1. The main characters are:

Miroslava ‘Mira’ Krapiva, a fourteen year old girl living in Winnipeg with her mom;

Yana Krapiva, Mira’s mom, a Russian immigrant to Canada; a baker in a local organic bakery;

John Bessemer, going by nickname Kosh, a mysterious man from Yana’s past;

Vasya, previously a rag doll, now a fully functional, yet very hormonal teenager.

2. Here’s the first chapter 🙂

Escape From the Woods || Sample Chapter

All of it very is much approximate! Feedback is highly appreciated!

Here are the first drafts of two characters’s appearance:

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Please, let me know what you think!

Cheers!

Katya

 

Updated Schedule + “Stop, Hammer Time!” News

Hello!

Firstly, here’s the new and adjusted update schedule (considering the latest developments):

Monday: Fairy Wars on Archive of Our Own (AO3)

Tuesday: Sunny Side Up (Star Trek/ Hobbit crossover fusion, in collaboration with Wynni) on AO3 (bi-weekly)

Wednesday: Ice Ice Baby! on fanfiction.net and AO3 (simultaneous updates, just choose whichever site works better for you)

Thursday: Fairy Wars on AO3 and Better Than One on JukePop

Friday: Stop, Hammer Time! companion pieces on fanfiction.net + assorted projects, including occasional fanfiction

Saturday: Dr T Series on this blog

Sunday: zoo with the kid/watercolours/breathing 🙂

How’s that? 🙂

Regarding Stop, Hammer Time!

I decided to enter Stop, Hammer Time! (after a major rewrite and editing, of course) into a publishing contest on Amazon. It’s based on public voting through the month of November. If enough people vote for it, it gets published through Amazon, I get paid a bit, and they promote the book. The best part is that every person who voted gets a copy for FREE!

So, my darlings, let’s make it happen in November. Vote for SHT and gently entice your friends and family to do the same! I’ll keep you posted about the title (I’m sure STH is copyrighted) and the overall state of the project here, or on my Facebook page.

Thank you!

Cheers,

Katya

Update Schedule and Patreon News

Hello!

I decided that it would be nice of me to post my update schedule, since I was asked several times, and generally, I feel people are already twitching nervously since I’m jumping from platform to platform, updating in a seemingly frantic fashion 🙂

Firstly, yes, I am. There’s a lot going on, and it is very much frantic 🙂

Secondly, here’s the schedule in case you want to read something else by yours truly (or all of it! But who has that much time? 😉 )

Monday: Fairy Wars on Archive of Our Own (Celtic mythology and The Hobbit fusion)

Tuesday: Read Like a Book (BBC Sherlock fanfiction; previously posted on fanfiction.net) on Archive of Our Own

Wednesday: fanfiction day 🙂 Either Four Corners of Middle Earth or Read Between the Lines on FanFiction. Or both. I can’t help it! I want it all!

Thursday: second chapter a week for Fairy Wars on AO3 + Better Than One (romance/mystery/erotica parody) on JukePop

Friday: catching-up day (there are couple things here and there, such as a new Star Trek fusion crossover Sunny Side Up on AO3, and the exclusive for my supporters on Patreon 1930’s Agatha Christie style mystery story Lady Leary Mysteries; so it’s not like I have nothing to do 😉 )

SaturdayDr T Series on my blog.

Sunday: no updates. I’m probably in the zoo with my kid. Have you read the chapter in Better Than One about goose poop? Yeah, that zoo 😛

And now, regarding my Patreon:

Firstly, my most heartfelt gratitude to my Patrons! Your support is most appreciated! I’m hoping my Patreon to grow soon, and then I don’t have to find a job 😉 and can just continue this updating madness, and finally finish my children’s book Axolotl Returns, and start looking for a publisher for it! (Let’s face it, if you like my Johns, you will love Uncle Darius 😉 )

As for the exclusive Patron posts that are only available for you if you’re donating (as little as) $1 per month:

I’ve sort of lost my interest in my Rodhina Project. I blame the lack of a dark haired, blue-eyed male protagonist 😉 The interest will, of course, be back in September, when I am planning to start working on more art for the upcoming Winnipeg Comic-Con where I’m going to have a table. We are having William Shatner as a guest this year! I’m excited 🙂 (Also, whatever art I create by then will be surely available on my Etsy shop. I’ll keep you posted.)

So, I’m thinking for now my Patrons will receive exclusive chapters of Lady Leary Mysteries as a reward for their support: The general rating ones, containing the investigation plot will be available to all my Patrons (pledges starting at $1 per month); and for those pledging $10 – erotic companion pieces. (I’ve written one already. I’m completely infatuated with this story, and this couple thrills me. So I wrote ahead, which I only do if I can’t contain myself 😀 I hope you like them too. And again, the fashion!)

So, see you in my multiple platforms and (hopefully) my Patreon!

Love you all,

K.

P. S. Did you see my modest doodles on my Instagram? I’m planning to start posting my doodles on a DeviantArt page. I’ll keep you posted 🙂

News, Updates, and a Request

Hello!

Firstly, some news. For some personal and health reasons (mainly the lovely inherited arthritis I have nibbling at my fingers), I resigned from my job in the bakery, and am considering going back to teaching in September.  Which means? Plenty of time for writing and drawing all through the Summer! (And growing veggies and flowers, but I also have a colony of bunnies in my yard, so no high hopes here.)

This leads us to piece of news numero duo. I’m starting regular updates of my pseudo-Viking, pseudo-Slavic webserial on my site Rodhina. The next chapter is almost ready, and more art is to appear soon. I’m planning to update the story every two weeks at least. Please, sign up for the newsletter here to be notified of any new stuff to check out.

Fanfiction writing will continue as before, and since Blind Carnival on Jukepop site is almost complete (the epilogue will be posted next Thursday), I’m considering starting a new romance/erotica webserial. The plans are so far vague.  Dr T Series on this blog will continue, updated every Saturday just as before.

And now the big news!

The upcoming weekend, my dear friend Virginia McClain and yours truly are going to Keycon! I’ve never been to it, but I’m all hyped up! And we are ‘dealers,’ not visitors there! I’ve never been called a ‘dealer.’ That tickles my pickle!

Basically, it’s a fantasy and sci-fi fair, and we have a table, to sell stuff! Virginia brings her book (Properly worth checking out! And the sequel is in revision stage!), and I will bring my Rodhina prints and will be giving out leaflets to promote the site. Yay!

Which brings us to the request!

By Friday, when (hopefully, but honestly, very unlikely) a huge wave of new visitors will come to my site, it would sooooo great if it looked alive. So…

A. The new chapter and new art will be posted tomorrow (Those of you signed up to the newsletter will get an email, and those of you supporting me on Patreon will receive an exclusive scoop into some very exciting pieces I wrote to post later, such as *drums* Gosta appearing, and *gasp* Ani’s daughter!)

B. I would like to ask my readers to comment on the existing chapters and art, if you haven’t. At the moment the poor posts look rather lonely, and your efforts will hopefully encourage the newcomers to participate. C’mon, lets cheer for Einar (or Gosta, if you prefer Heughan over Fassbender… Oops, I meant, Priblizhnik Gosta over Glava Einar) 😀

Thank you, and see you next time (hopefully, tomorrow on Rodhina site, where you can get from the menu on the top of this blog)!

Cheers,

Katya

P.S. Here is a gratuitous doodle of Deadpool by yours truly 😉

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The Question of Current Projects

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So, I draw now. It is a new endeavour, and unlike writing (I at least have a couple of literary theory degrees) it is a completely unknown territory. I had never even tried picking up a pencil until December 2015, and buying inkpens for myself as an early Christmas gift was clearly an odd impulsive gesture.

When it happened I was in a process of looking for someone who’d draw a map for my webserial Ani on JukePop that was stuck, and I needed inspiration for. Eventually, several of possible collaborations fell apart, and here I am, buying watercolours and more Microns.

These days Ani has turned into Rodhina, my fantasy world site, where you can find the story and my illustrations. Soon, the prints will be available on my Etsy shop The King and Wren. The shop is a pet project, it’s small and cute like a button. More work will be put into it soon, but for now my MiniThorin pendants are there, and more is to come.

ETSY SHOP

Fanfiction is still my favourite pastime. It is still for the Hobbit, and it’s still all about Thorin and Wren (she is Werna now, a Dwarf, and a better match for a Dwarven King). BBC Sherlock is another fandom I’m trying to write in, so far with Wren as a life saver, not too drift too far, and for the feeling of safety.

Blind Carnival on JukePop that became an unexpected popular continues, but the end is nigh. Once it’s over, I’m considering writing the romance series “May to December” that I planned last Summer but never got a chance to mull over.

On this blog, Dr Talso surprisingly read and loved, is reaching the point where I will run out of already written chapters and will have to put more effort into the story. It’s no trouble of course, since Dr John Thorington, the world renown neurosurgeon is a very stimulating subject.

In the nearest future I will need to sort out what I’ve already drawn, and decide what goes where. I have a DeviantArt page, and Instagram, both currently a mess, and it’s time to admit that I do draw and will continue (all thoughts of the level of skill and quality aside).

Alright, that’s it for now! Feel free to ask questions, and don’t miss The Book Giveaway (details below!)

BOOK GIVEAWAY (1)

As a birthday present from me to you, I’ve set up a

*GIVE AWAY of two hard copies of my novel!*

In the week of April 23rd to May 1st, follow my writer’s Facebook page and/or Instagram, and send me a personal message or leave a comment in one or both of these platforms, for a chance to win my book. Messages in both double your chances.

The winner will be chosen by the means of a five years old pulling a name written on a piece of paper out of a top hat 🙂 The books will be signed and mailed to the winners Monday, May 2nd.

Cheers!

 

The Question of a New FanFiction Story

Now that my longest, most popular, “epic” fanfiction story Me Without You is almost complete (and what a journey it was!) I’m planning to venture on a new adventure. This time I want to write a more “typical” fanfic – the classics of “a girl joins Dwarves on the Quest” one, with my original character bringing that beloved “feminine touch” to the events.

Werna, daughter of Lyr, the niece of Dain Ironfoot, will become yet another version of my all time protagonist, Wren, but some changes will have to be made. As a Dwarf, she’d have to be more traditional, less sensitive, less… well, weird 🙂 She is of course based at least partially on yours truly, no author can avoid this trap, and of course she’s a bit… “special” 😀

I’m a true believer in MBTI as a wonderful writing tool for developing characters. So…

If Wren in my FanFiction and in modern romance/erotica in Dr. T Series on this blog, and on JukePop in Blind Carnival (alias Olivia Dane) is a definite INFJ, Werna will be an ENFJ.

And somehow in my mind, based on the fact that her ideal pairing would be an ISFP, which is… Bilbo, a love triangle was born in my mind!

How’s that?

Thorin, Bilbo, and Wren… Oh myyyy *George Takei voice* That has never happened before in my writing, but isn’t it a delicious angst producing idea? 😉

I’m industriously working on this story, and here are my habitual notes in one of the hundred little notebooks I have scattered around my house 🙂

Bilbo -- -Letters to Your Heart, Axes to Your Scabbard- on FanFiction.net -- The Hobbit FanFiction Werna -- -Letters to Your Heart, Axes to Your Scabbard- on FanFiction.net -- The Hobbit FanFiction Thorin -- -Letters to Your Heart, Axes to Your Scabbard- on FanFiction. net --The Hobbit FanFiction

Hope to see you in the review page of Letters to Your Heart, Axes to Your Scabbard!!!

Cheers,

Katya

Art used in the graphics: by Selma Pimentel